DEALING WITH STINKING THINKING
In this blog post I’ll be discussing dealing with stinking thinking and how to stay motivated after we start to change our thought patterns and feelings. Stinking thinking is in everyone, not just those in recovery.
What Is Stinking Thinking?
It’s a little obvious what stinking thinking could mean and it’s not hard to be a stinking thinker without really noticing its impact on your life. When I wrote the post on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy it scratched the surface of stinking thinking but let’s jump right in. If your pattern of thinking is stopping you from having a happy and successful life then it’s time to change the patterns!
Stinking thinking is the result of thoughts being twisted by negative emotions, it can also become a habit that’s very hard to break. During lockup in 2015 my thought process was so jacked that I didn’t even care I was getting sent up to state prison. I didn’t care about anything at that time, not my life or the consequences this had on my life.
Do You Suffer From Negative Thinking?
Do you feel like your emotions are getting in the way of making positive changes in your life? If so, you’re probably dealing with stinking thinking! Do you notice all or none thinking patterns? How about the over generalizing type of people that use phrases like “People NEVER listen to me!”. Most people I meet have negative mental filtering, therefore they never see ANY positive. Most people use should statements, “I have to.” or “ought to do this.”. I find myself doing that the most!
Sometimes people use emotional reasoning, which just starts to turn your emotions into reality. Other signs of stinking thinking can be labeling, in effect putting negative labels on yourself, others, or things in your life. Some may label going out with friends as a negative because they have the opportunity to use substances. Which means you will never go out and be happy.
How I Combat Stinking Thinking!
Making decisions while being in a bad emotional state will often make you feel worse than before. Here are some ideas to play with to try to break away from those negative thinking patterns. If you like these tips then you should really check out CBT! Everytime I make a mistake at home or work, I view it as a life lesson. Make sure you are not killing yourself over mistakes! People in a negative emotional state can often give up after a simple mistake and become frustrated.
Do not seek perfection, pay attention to progress instead! When I’m doing something at work and I’m trying to make it better than just good, I always end up doing too much and just messing it all up! Make sure to always evaluate and review yourself and know when to leave good enough alone. Another good one is misery is optional. When I’m at home feeling depressed or upset about a choice I’ve made, I always remember that the future is not set in stone. I don’t have to feel miserable about anything and I can change the future starting right now.
Remember that life is not painted black and white. Most things produced in life take place in the grey areas. Nothing is really all good or all bad, you need to take the good with the bad and keep on rolling. Emotions are not facts and the sooner you learn how to control your emotions before making important decisions, the better your life will be!
How To Stay Motivated Afterwards!
Hard work is the only way to manifest our dreams and self esteem is like a fire. We provide the wood, and our family, friends, and associates can kindle our flame, but they can only ignite the material we’ve provided by virtue of our efforts. From here on out we need to tell ourselves that everyday we will do better. We will stay positive and focus more on our health and mental wellbeing. I’ve been trying to experiment with a bunch of new stuff to help with this.
I’ve started a meditative type ritual on my weekend mornings, using ASMR relaxation videos on Youtube (No freaky stuff!) doing this before I get out of bed. Also giving myself a time that I’ll get out of bed and get my day started and make a list in my head of all the things I want to get done that day. I try to do this stuff on the weekends because my weekday is rough with work and meal prep. Another good habit is to make sure you have your calendar updated and remember to update it frequently.
Sometimes you just need to do it. I know looking at positive quotes online might make you cringe or make a scrunched face but you need positivity in your life! I like to see the positive and motivational Youtube videos people post. They are really great and you should try them out!
Conclusion
This topic was rough for me to write about because it makes me look at myself and see how much negative thinking I still deal with everyday. Working on my weight and my budgeting are my two biggest goals at the moment. My negative thinking patterns make it hard to not justify just going out to eat when I have extra money! Going out to eat makes me happy, staying healthy makes me happy, saving money makes me happy, and I’m addicted to food! So If I stay home I’m like ughh, if I go out to eat I’m like ughhh, if I spent money on going out to eat, I’m like ughh.
So to fight this I made a very tight budget this weekend to help me save money. I’m going to incorporate it this week and give myself one day where I can cheat and eat out. That will be called the “Happy day!”. If you like some of my ideas or are struggling with anything please feel free to reach out to me in the comments or on facebook!
A somebody was once a nobody who wanted to and did.
John Burroughs